I always knew that my husband was a sports maniac, and football season is no exception. Since Fantasy Football has become a major part of the season, however, Paul has taken his insanity to a new level, which never really affected me until yesterday. Those of you who are Fantasy Football "coaches" (or wives of these crazy men) know what I'm talking about when 8 o' clock (central time) on Tuesday morning rolls around and those football free agents suddenly become "available".
For some reason a guy named Earnest Graham was the coveted player. I personally thought there was nothing special about him but, nonetheless, Paul was determined to "pick him up" (which I thought was a dating term, but...okay). Unfortunately Paul had to work yesterday so our morning went something like this:
5 am! Paul woke me up: "Hon, do you mind if I take the computer to work today?"
me: "Well, we kinda use it for school. Don't you have to work?"
Paul: "Yes, but there's this free agent that I have to pick up"
me: "When are you going to have time to pick him up?"
Paul: "Well...maybe you could do it for me..."
me: "...........okay?"
Paul: "--GREAT! I'll get the computer set up so all you have to do is press the "pick up this player" button.......but if for some reason the computer needs to be reset, let me show you how to get where you need to be."
He proceeds to take me through the detailed layout of the Fantasy Football website along with the list of possible "pick-ups" if I fail my attempt to pick up Earnest...by this time I decided to get ready for the day and camp out close to the computer since I was wide awake in fear of forgetting my crash course in Fantasy Football 101.
7:39 am My cell phone rings. "Honey, are you awake?"
"Yes. I never went back to sleep."
"Oh........okay, just checking. Love you! Bye!"
7:42 am Cell phone rings again. "If you can't pick up Graham, first try Adrian Peterson, and then Jesse Chapman, and then whoever else is on the list. And don't forget to drop Ted Ginn, Jr."
7:56 am (I'm not kidding) Ring, ring! "Hey! I also wanted to tell you to to go by the clock on your cell phone. That's real time."
GRRRRR!!! By this time I'm sweating bullets, and my heart rate is actually rising! There I am at 7:58 am staring at this page that I would've never gone to of my own accord and I am once again feeling like I did in high school just before the gun sounded during a cross country meet...
7:59 am My finger is on the mouse, my eyes are on the "pick up player" button. I quickly glance to make sure I have the right player...10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1... click........
silence
Okay, you know what? I didn't get the player. Because some MANIAC COACH beat me to him!!! Not only that, but when I went to find out who had stolen this Earnest what's-his-name, there were 4 or 5 more maniacs scurrying around like ants on candy picking up their "coveted players"!
....craziness I will never understand....
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Craziness I'll Never Understand!
Posted by Keri at 10:20 AM
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4 comments:
I cannot tell you the number of times I have been tempted to post a message on their league message board telling (most of) them how full of baloney they are. But I refrain for my husband's sake (I asked him if I could and he said I couldn't).
This is the scout of the year here, because truth be told the MANIAC who picked Graham up didn't see him play until his NFL-loving wife said, "You've gotta see this guy play! You should pick Graham up on Tuesday!" I mean not to toot my own horn- but it was a good pick up. I was happy to hear there were other guys who thought he was good, too. :)
Ha ha!! This was a terrific post--I can't tell you how many conversations we've had about Joel's "team."
One day I asked him if he felt better because he was winning his "pretend" game. His deadpan look told me that it's all too real to him!!
Hubs does participate in this "fantasy", but he refrains from sharing with me...good thing. I think the "real" league is overrated and waaaaay overpaid.
FYI: Hubs told me I HAVE to read your post because "it was soooooo funny". He's a new fan.
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